


Now or Never

by brumalbreeze



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-29 12:06:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brumalbreeze/pseuds/brumalbreeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Look, I've known Nagisa since we were young, and if it's someone who hasn't changed since then, it's that guy. The way you look at him is gross, and the way he looks at you makes me want to punch a wall and throw someone out a fifth floor window, alright?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now or Never

**Author's Note:**

> Based off [my own post](http://brumalbreeze.tumblr.com/post/63703163856/so-idk-about-you-guys-but-this-post-really).
> 
> Also on [Tumblr](http://brumalbreeze.tumblr.com/post/64105849292/now-or-never-reigisa) and [FF.net](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9766910/1/Now-or-Never).

Practice was finally over. Everyone was in various states of dress and undress within the Samezuka locker rooms, preparing to go home. It had been another day of joint practice with the Iwatobi team.

Rei was tightening the knot on his tie when a familiar and obnoxious voice drew his attention away.

"Hey, no way! Mako-chan, that's totally unfair, isn't it?"

Rei watched as their team captain chuckled behind his loosely fisted hand and tried to deflect Nagisa's question. Next to them, Haruka said something in a low voice. They were far enough that Rei couldn’t hear them, but Makoto just laughed harder while Nagisa pouted and stomped his foot on the floor. His shirt, which he had not buttoned up yet, fluttered a little. Rei wondered why he couldn't have finished dressing before harassing Makoto and Haruka but only let out a small breath of amusement.

"You guys are really mean!" he said with a pout. Despite his apparent offense, the blond immediately brightened up and started on a new topic. "Oh, hey! Did you hear though? The other day..."

The older boys continued to put their clothes on, occasionally responding to let him know they were still listening. Rei couldn’t help but continue to watch Nagisa. The boy was so animated and lively, it was as if he wasn’t even a little worn out from their rigorous practice.

He knew, however, that Nagisa would end up falling asleep on the train ride back home like he always did. Sometimes, Rei fell asleep with him, but other times, he’d quietly sit and wait until Nagisa’s head lolled onto his shoulder. He didn’t mind it, though he’d discreetly push the blond’s jaw back up to close his mouth if Nagisa started drooling.

While watching his teammates interact, Rei vaguely noticed that someone had walked up next to him.

"The face you're making is super gross, you know," a low voice said out of the blue.

Despite knowing that he was there, Rei still jumped. "Rin-san!" he exclaimed, startled. He knit his eyebrows together tightly and frowned. "What face?"

Rin looked at him straight on, his own expression twisted into unamusement. "This one's not much better, but alright." He flipped his collar down and straightened out the hem of his shirt.

"What in the world are you talking about?" the bespectacled boy asked, genuine confusion on his face and in his voice.

As if he was dealing with the world's most troublesome person, Rin let out a heavy sigh. "I gave you more credit than you deserve," he said, still not addressing Rei's concerns.

Someone in the row next to them let out a yell and started laughing, their voice echoing through the room. Rin's eyes darted that direction for a quick second before nonchalantly coming back to his shirt.

"You really have no idea, do you?" he asked. Instead of being condescending this time, he gave him a truly exasperated look. Rei heard him vaguely mutter, "The entire friggin' team," under his breath. Rin shook his head a little. The redhead looked at him evenly, "You look at Nagisa the same way Makoto looks at Haru," he enunciated carefully, as if Rei wouldn't be able to understand him otherwise.

In response, the younger boy gaped at him. He was about to say, "What?" in hopes of further explanation, but Rin was reaching the end of his patient magnanimity.

"If you tell me you haven't seen the way Makoto looks at Haru, I'm going to punch you in the face," he said, and Rei couldn't tell exactly how much of that was said in jest.

"Er," he stammered, trying to stall for time. He glanced over to his teammates again. They were still talking. Nagisa had finally buttoned his shirt, and the other two were putting on their ties. The blond was bouncing between them excitedly, but the focus of the conversation had gone inwards. Haruka was quietly pulling the end of his school tie through the loop he made, and Makoto was watching him with a soft smile and even softer eyes. When Haruka looked up to say something, the taller of them closed his eyes and melted his smile even further.

" _That_... look?" Rei asked experimentally. He had seen that smile from Makoto before. He was sure everyone had, but it was never really directed at _them_. It was one that Rei only ever saw Makoto giving to Haruka. Even with his severe myopia, Rei was able to see what it meant. He balked when he put two and two together. "Wait, you mean—if I'm assuming the right thing then, doesn't that mean you're saying that I—?"

Rin rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his slightly damp hair. "I swear, all of you idiots are completely hopeless," he said. In an even lower voice, he mumbled something that sounded like, “gotta do something about those two as well,” and “haven’t even changed since elementary school.” After his semi-private internal dialogue was finished, he addressed Rei directly. "Yes, that's exactly what I meant."

Rin felt his cheeks burn, and he hoped his face hadn't become the color of his tie and glasses. "N-No, wait, that's a little.... I mean, for starters, Nagisa-kun and I are just friends, and..." he sputtered, voice hushed to a violent whisper. He was still trying to make sense of what Rin was accusing him of. "What I'm saying is, that's absurd!" he finished strongly.

The redhead seemed completely unimpressed by Rei's proclamation though, and only raised a single eyebrow at him sardonically. "Wow," he drawled, “Exactly which one of us are you trying to convince with that?"

"I—huh?"

"Are you doubting my judgment or something?" he said finally, crossing his arms.

Rei sniffed a bit. "It's hard not to, honestly," he replied, feeling a little offended.

"Look, I've known Nagisa since we were young, and if it's someone who hasn't changed since then, it's that guy. The way you look at him is gross, and the way he looks at you makes me want to punch a wall and throw someone out a fifth floor window, alright?"

The younger boy frowned dubiously. "That's not true. Nagisa-kun looks at me the same way he looks at everyone else. He treats me exactly the same too. He's a very enthusiastic individual is all," Rei said. It was true, Rei thought. Even though the blond had a tendency to hang all over him and attack him out of nowhere, it was basically how he dealt with everyone.

Rei had seen him on more than one occasion nuzzling his head against Haruka to try to wheedle him into doing something (more often than not succeeding), and he has just as often grabbed onto Makoto's arm and babbled to the much taller boy in great excitement. The only reason Nagisa found himself more frequently visiting Rei than the other two was due to the simple issue of distance. They lived so close that it didn't matter one way or another if Nagisa made a pit-stop at the Ryuugazaki household first before heading back to his.

He wasn’t going to deny that he had a certain soft spot for the shorter boy. It took some getting used to Nagisa’s loud personality and voice, but after Rei was traumatized to the point where basically nothing could faze him too much, the blond became an interesting companion. Nagisa had a strange and rather forceful way of worming himself into people’s hearts, and Rei, for all his austere blustering and uprightness, was not immune to his charisma either.

Rei looked at Rin suspiciously. It was one thing to say he was good friends with Nagisa, but to claim that he had… those kinds of feelings for the other boy was…. Rei didn’t really what to feel about that.

It wasn’t outright rejection or disgust that he instinctively reacted with but embarrassment. Embarrassment at what, however, Rei wasn’t wholly positive.

Rei had eventually grown to look forward to getting crowded by Nagisa between each class period. The boy had a habit of draping himself over Rei’s desk, ensuring that he wouldn’t be able to review his notes and forcing him to pay attention solely to him. And the second class was dismissed for lunch, Nagisa would be there, pulling him toward to the roof to meet up with Makoto and Haruka.

Having the blond chattering away at him all the time had become a constant as well. At the same time Rei couldn’t remember how he was able to live with the silence of being alone, he couldn’t figure out how he was managing to survive with the blond endlessly telling him about a million things he could or could not care less for either. Nagisa was annoying if he wanted to put it bluntly, but maybe it was one of those “can’t live with, can’t live without” kind of thing. It was just that Rei couldn’t figure out exactly how the situation came to such a conclusion.

Even if he had gotten into the habit of always scanning a crowd for Nagisa’s familiar mop of hair, lingered around the locker rooms after practices until the blond was ready, or frequently ended up accidentally buying Nagisa’s favorite strawberry-chocolate snack from the convenience store (the shorter boy had forced him on so many occasions to buy it for him that it had become habit), it didn’t mean anything. Rei furrowed his eyebrows, suddenly doubting his own train of thought severely.

The uncertain, fluttery feeling he kept getting in his chest when he saw Nagisa do something stupid and charming, his learned anticipation for Nagisa’s random texts in the evening, and the strange feeling of emptiness when the blond wasn’t with him—it didn’t mean….

Yet, even if those things _did_ mean something, that didn’t necessarily lead to Nagisa thinking the same about him. Like he had already told Rin, the energetic boy treated everyone just as warmly and happily as he did with Rei.

Something heavy settled in his stomach. He thought it might’ve been disappointment, but maybe it was just dehydration.

After a long while, he just quietly said, “Nagisa-kun acts normally around me.”

Rin looked at him flatly, completely unconvinced. "Just how stubborn can you get, man? Denial's great and all—trust me, been there, done that—but there's a pretty solid limit to how long you can stay in it," he said, sarcasm peeling off his words thickly. "I don't know how else to explain it, but the way that guy looks at you isn't the same as everyone else, alright? It's more like... I'unno," he frowned slightly and scratched his cheek, "adoration or whatever." Here, Rin paused a little, as if thinking about something. After that brief moment, the redhead spoke up again. "Just take my word on it."

Rei was about to retort again, but something gnawed at him from inside. It wasn’t that he _didn’t_ like Nagisa, but how self-conceited did he have to be to think that, maybe, the other boy liked _him_ back too? There were too many uncertain and unknown factors in this problem that Rei couldn’t figure out.

Someone padded up to the mouth of the row and peered in. It was Aiichirou. He was fully dressed and was holding a Samezuka blazer in his hands. Both of them looked at him at the same time but the second Aiichirou saw Rin, his face lit up and he beamed. "Rin-senpai!" he exclaimed, looking pleased and excited.

“Hey.” Rin’s response was much more subdued and casual, but Rei still caught the traces of the faint smile which made the edges of the redhead’s expression less sharp.

Aiichirou ran up to them and greeted Rei. “Ryuugazaki-kun! You’ve worked hard today,” he said, smiling.

Instinctively, Rei returned his smile politely. “Thank you, Nitori-kun. You worked hard today as well.”

“Your form is getting a lot better now! I was watching a little earlier, and I can tell you’ve been doing a lot of drills to improve the timing of your kicks and pulls,” he told Rei cheerfully.

Rei started a bit, not at all expecting to be praised like that. “Oh! It’s not that I’ve really improved or anything, but I will continue to work hard,” he replied gratefully. Aiichirou smiled and shifted his attention to Rin. Rei looked over to the redhead as well. He looked strangely proud.

“You forgot your jacket,” Aiichirou said simply, holding it out to Rin.

Although it wasn’t particularly chilly in the locker rooms, the boy absentmindedly ran his hand up and down his arm a few times. “Ah, right. Thanks,” he said, reaching out for it.

Aiichirou moved closer and gave it to him.

As Rin slipped his arms into the jacket, he asked, “Is it time to go already?”

Aiichirou nodded. “Just about,” he answered, “everyone’s getting ready to leave.”

“Got it,” he replied.

While the two of them talked, Rei turned back to look at his three teammates. Nagisa had finally decided to leave Haruka and Makoto alone. He had probably exhausted all the topics he could think of and needed a new victim to chat with. If they had been bothered, however, neither of the boys looked it. They were far used to Nagisa’s energy level. Now, they were once again talking quietly amongst themselves, occasionally smiling at each other.

The blond was looking around the locker room, trying to find a familiar face. His eyes quickly locked onto Rei, and his grin grew wider.

“Rei-chan!” he called out, already running over. At this point, Nagisa had buttoned up his shirt and slung his tie around his neck.

Next to him, Rin pointedly looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Though he didn’t say anything, Rei interpreted his look as, “ _Do_ something about him.”

Then, he took a step forward and slung his arm around Aiichirou’s shoulders. “C’mon, Ai. Let’s go. You have English homework again tonight?” he asked, already walking away casually.

Rei didn’t miss the excited flush on Aiichirou’s cheeks as he smiled widely, happily telling Rin exactly how much homework his teachers had given him. The bespectacled boy resisted rolling his eyes. He wondered if Rin knew how _he_ looked at Aiichirou.

He wasn’t able to dwell on that thought for long, because Nagisa’s voice was beckoning him again.

“Rei-chan!” he said, face bright as he stopped in front of him.

Rei felt his heart speed up a little, and his cheeks felt hot. He hated how self-conscious Rin had made him, but…

His eyes landed on Nagisa’s tie, which had flipped over the wrong way. Automatically, he reached his hand out.

The blond didn’t do anything but tilt his head to one side out of curiosity. When he realized Rei was just fixing his necktie, he beamed and laughed. “I can do that myself, you know?” He said that but didn’t do anything to stop the taller boy from helping him.

“It was bothering me. Tie up your necktie already, Nagisa-kun. Practice finished forever ago!”

“I was busy talking to Mako-chan and Haru-chan though!” he replied, hastily knotting up his tie. His bangs fell into his face as he looked down.

“That’s no good excuse. Makoto-senpai and Haruka-senpai managed to finish changing while they were talking to you,” Rei said in a mildly scolding voice. He watched as Nagisa’s fingers tugged and pulled at the strip, nimbly coaxing it through the right loops. When he finally tightened up the knot, he looked up expectantly, as if waiting for Rei to praise him. “It’s crooked,” the taller boy said flatly.

Completely unfazed by the fact that Rei didn’t praise him at all, Nagisa grinned. “It’s fine!” he said lightly.

Despite himself, Rei smiled too, his entire body relaxing just at the sight of the blond looking so happy.

“Rei! Nagisa! Are you two ready?”

The two of them turned to see who was calling them. It was Makoto with his bag over his shoulder and Haruka standing a little behind him, looking rather fondly at the direction of the pool. There was a sense of urgency in their captain’s eyes, as if he wanted to get out of there quickly. They had been lingering for too long and, if they remained in the locker rooms more, there was a high possibility that Haruka would try to sneak his way back into the pool again.

“Ah, yes! We’re ready!” Rei called back, quickly retrieving his backpack from his locker. Nagisa began shoving things into his own bag hastily, almost running into Rei a few times.

By the time Nagisa was done, Makoto was discreetly leading Haruka outside by strategically placing himself between him and the door leading to the pool. Makoto gave Rei an apologetic look before he ushered his friend out, but he just waved and smiled at him quietly. None of them wanted to deal with having to drag Haruka out of the water, after all.

Rei dawdled behind to wait for Nagisa.

“Sorry! I forgot where I left my goggles,” he said, an easy smile on his lips.

“It’s alright,” Rei said. He looked at Nagisa. The blond was humming a nonsensical tune. His palms suddenly got very sweaty. It wasn’t like him to be so impulsive and want to do things like this, but a lot has changed since he was first pulled into the deep, watery depths of the Hell known as the Iwatobi Swim Club, featuring Hazuki Nagisa. “Nagisa-kun,” he blurted out, almost regretting his sudden courage.

“Hm?” Pure eyes looked up to him.

“Do you…. If you’re not busy after this, you want to come over?” he asked, hoping that Nagisa wouldn’t see his blush if he fixed his glasses enough times.

Nagisa was positively glowing when he finished asking. “Rei-chan! That’s the first time you actually invited me over!” He did a happy little spin, which Rei found absolutely endearing. “Well, we have that essay to write by Friday, right? I ran out of manuscript paper, so can you lend me some later?”

“Sure,” Rei responded, grateful for how Nagisa didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.

Maybe it was a little too soon to do something like this, especially when he wasn’t completely sure of his own feelings, but Rei felt like this was something he was going to have to do now or never. There was really no reason to wait anymore.

The blond ran on ahead, continuing his conversation with Rei without really caring if he was listening or not.

Rei trailed behind and readjusted the straps of his backpack firmly. He smiled nervously and breathed in. Then, he released the breath and straightened out his back. He was decided.

Today was the day he was going to confess, and there was going to be no backing out of it.

It was just now or never.

And he was going to do it now.


End file.
